Late last year, I had cause to stop and take stock of friendships. I jotted down these notes in a moment of clarity to help me focus on when to hold on and when to let go. It was a useful reminder in funky times. Now, I’m sharing…
Friendship: Notes to Self.
Good ones are there for you and you them. Suspend disbelief, it’s often not those you expect who step up.
Friendship can only be based on what people are, not on what you want them to be.
Do not use friends to plug a gap in your life.
Do not base friendship on an ideal.
Online friendships can be supportive without needing to move off-screen.
Do not base friendship on one you made earlier. Jack is not just like John used to be. No, he isn’t. You aren’t who you used to be either, and if you knew where the hell John was now, you’d find he’d changed, too.
Manage your expectations and let others manage theirs.
You cannot live solely for the approval of others.
Never say never when starting a friendship, but do say never again when calling it.
It’s ok to forgive, it’s not ok to forget.
True love changes with you, it doesn’t end, don’t confuse the two.
Fear of rejection can only drive you deeper into relationships you don’t need.
Let go before a friendship’s bled right out. Walk away, don’t look back.
Clinging helps no-one. Ever. Even Cinderella almost overstayed her welcome.
Accept that you’re only human and afford others that courtesy, too.
Laughing is good. Laughing with someone else until you get cramps and can’t see through the tears is even better.
Hold onto your self-esteem.