So, you’re in love?

There is no manual is there? No go-to online guide or weighty tome to tell you how to be when you are in love, how to cope with the sudden onset of these alarming symptoms. You do, of course, read all about it, talk all about it, think all about it – even become all about it. But it isn’t helping you much, if at all, is it?

Of course, because you are talking all about it to everyone who will listen and quite a few who won’t, you are being judged. It’s inevitable. It’s only human. You and I? We do the same, don’t we? We’re only human. Anyway, this, and the fact that you’re acting weird means you are having plenty of judgemental shit shovelled at you, thinly disguised as ‘advice’. You talked the talk, you walked the walk, you take this shit. Right?

So, your eyes are permanently glued to your screens, five minutes seems like eternity and your time management has collapsed. Meanwhile, you’ve failed to notice that your friends have developed a hard-glaze eye cover and ceramic-fixed smile whenever you mention ‘it’ (or most other stuff, by now). But talking has just led you round in a circle, hasn’t it?  What can you do? Be good at it and about it. Be kind – to yourself and others – try to be clever and strong. I did say, try. Yes, even when your head is a mush and your heart rate is all over the chart. Oh, and while we’re on the subject, you do know that it’s not to be confused with heartburn or a heart attack, this heartache thing, don’t you?

Hold onto your instincts, you’re in for a bumpy ride. Of course, it goes without saying that, if someone or something is deliberately (and yes, you do know when that’s the intent – and no, there are no excuses) hurting you, you get out of this love thing now – short term pain for a very long term gain. Even if your judgement has clouded over, your feelings are bright – so, follow those sparks of hope. Your heart aches, but it’s a fatal blessing. Let’s face it, it hurts like hell while making you that ecstatic. Extremes. That’s what it’s about. Extremes. What can you do? The best in your situation with what you have and there’s nothing else for it.

If you are in love in that truly WTF/ OMG way, comparisons are pointless and non-existent. You have to have faith to get through and hang on in there. And so do your nearest and dearest, you know those who care for you outside your bubble – stay with them, they’ll stay with you. You may make little sense to them or to yourself  – but you need them when you come up for air, and they’ll need you one day, too.

Your view clouded through a vale of tears?  Your focus blurred through an inane rose-tinted grin? Making crap judgement calls?  Think you’ll look back in wonder at your ‘failures’?  Don’t worry, time will gift you perspective and humour. You’re living and feeling to the full. And one day, you know, you will reflect on this with gratitude and take the broad view.